Zane....I am Zane

I used to be a being that I cannot describe to you, beautiful are the words on your tongue and yet that cannot begin to describe that form. The very idea was sewn into it through the making. And it was made for me, make no doubt about that. The form with its wings, and perfect body, elegance mixed with ability, was made for me. To always feel so light and airy rarely ever touching the ground, I only looked among the mortal beings. But I suppose that form was taken from me, and now I am here. Funny thing actually, I don't know where here is. It's a dank dark place, the earth smells damp and humid, full of earth worms. And I don't feel its normal comforting pulse, yes the earth has a pulse. And it has a voice. It's dark and deep, but light and feminine at the same time.It surprises me sometimes when I heard it, even though I have an uncanny connection with the earth despite my wings.The earth, the mother of all I suppose you could say. I love the earth, and I love the sky much more. If you have never flown, flown with wind and sky and stars, among all the rest of the flying creatures.It is like standing on a high cliff, and looking down, and feeling your heart plummet to an endless bottom before finding its way in the dark. All the while your body seems so far detached, as you find your way. Flying in itself is no special thing, but when you fly the entire world changes beneath you, and the surge of power pumping through your veins can keep you aloft for an almost indefinite period of time. You could say I am a earth creature, but you are wrong, I as much as the birds, love the air, and wish to be master of it. Even though I am not, no one is the master of the air. There are some who would borrow power there, steal and lie and cheat to command a small portion of a great empire, but they are not masters of the wind. I want to be out of here, it's dark. I can navigate fine in the dark, but it feels oppressive here, and makes me anxious to leave. I don't know how long I've been here, and I don't' particularly care, time is of no matter. I have endless time, it seems as if it is something, that while not to be frittered away, can be used with leisure. But I am concerned about leaving this place, it isn't somewhere I would want to stay. I doubt you would stay either if it were humid, and dark, and you felt your heart pound against your chest uncomfortable in your own skin. No. My eyes shut to block it out, the darkness, if it makes sense, blocking out darkness with darkness. Where to find the exit though to this place I do not know. I came here without my knowing or control, and yet to stay here is in my control I think to keep myself calmer, hating this space. I feel odd right now. It's kind of like flying, not knowing where you are, and detached from your body. Though I feel no joy by it, only slight fear. Because I really don't know where to go, and I lost sight of the ground to which I will need to return eventually. I feel an uncomfortable twinge, and then another, cringing I lay down. The surface of this place is comfortable, almost surprisingly so, and I shut my eyes, drifting off to sleep. I don't think I sleep very long, but I feel different when I wake up. I feel out of my own skin, and uncomfortable fabric rub up against the surface. I don't know why I would be wearing fabric.I can't see my own paws, and I can't feel the tips of my ears, and I can't move my tail. I can't smell as much either. It still smells damp, but it isn't as bad. The humidity still eats away at me though. I close my eyes trying to shake the feeling, where did my ears and tail go, why am I on two legs. I feel my heart race, my different heart. And I try to growl in frustration but it sounds like a pup rasping and not a wolf growling. I can't whimper, but I feel air come in and out of my throat in heavy breaths. I try to gulp in air at an even rate, wondering what was happening to me. And why I had been turned into a human, and if I would ever change back. It was odd, but being in this form had good qualities. Like the fact that I had thumbs now, and I could talk. My other speech had been rusty in wolf form, with so many other things I could use to communicate, but now I spoke. It felt weird, my tongue moving to accompany words. I feel the world reconfigure around me, and it's almost disorienting. The world was busy, it felt busy. So many sights and sounds, but peaceful enough I guessed. I saw a steep drop, and I realized I was near a canyon, I heard words behind me and whirled. More humans. They were in a group. There was one who acted like the leader. He motioned for me to join them. And wanting to fit in stumbled over trying out my new legs. There were people there. It was a group, one family, one couple, three loners. I was a loner. There was another person next to me in the back, I didn't know why she was here. So I asked her "What are you doing here?" I guess it came out as kind of weird or like I was demanding something because she looked at me funny. Well I didn't know how she was looking at me, but she sounded amused, and a little angry "What's it to you?" I thought about the words for a little bit, trying to come up with a good answer. I didn't know her, but I did want to know why she was here, because she wasn't taking any pictures and stayed at the back of the group, even though she could keep up with the front. I still had trouble walking like this so I had to stay at the back. After thinking about it I answered "I don't know, you just don't seem like you want to be here, that's all." I tried to be friendly, not to be mean, or questioning, or demanding. She seemed really sensitive. Like a perfect pool of water. It would come back to near perfect again, but never completely still, and it was incredibly easy to disturb it. I wondered if she was a water element, like how I was before, but I shook the thought, she wasn't. I knew. I just knew. She answered, a laugh, we kept moving "I don't this whole trip isn't for me." I feel confused, she seems to be talking about more than this trip. But what is it about this trip that makes it so important it be hers. She sounds selfish when she puts it like that and I don't think she's selfish. She's just a little mad. "Oh." I say, not really understanding, trying to sound like I do. She pauses, then looks at me, it's really weird, I don't usually make eye contact as it is considered a challenge, and no one challenges me. But hers isn't uncomfortable, it's almost friendly when she says "Oh right, my name is Maire, but just call me Man." It's really weird nickname, probably with a story behind it, probably with a whole story behind it that I don't know. And I want her to tell me, and tell me why this is such a big deal for her, and tell me all of her stories. But instead she says to me "So what's your name?" I hesitate, but I know I have to answer so I say "Zane" I like that name "I am Zane." And she laughs but it's light hearted and airy, and she isn't being mean or cruel "I heard you the first time." She pauses as if she's feeling my name on her tongue "Zane."